The most significant experience I encountered on solo expedition:
On this expedition, just after I was left alone, I felt as if someone had cut my legs off and left me to slowly bleed to death. I was completely alone and had to completely depend upon myself for survival. With that knowledge came the certainty that I would perish.
As my time progressed, and I was forced to help myself, I began to slowly lose it, and everything seemed to be going wrong. In reality it was myself who was losing a grasp on everything I had previously thought to be true of myself.
On the third day of solo, I was ready for it to all be over. I was ready to leave this nasty little mud-pit that was my shelter and rejoin civilized society. I felt alone, and exhausted. I didn’t want to move, but I would have run ten miles to be done with solo.
On the morning of day four, I was full of enthusiasm, but it wasn’t because I was leaving. It was for the fact that I had survived, and survived with style. As I walked out of Gentry Creek, I was able to hold my head high. I had been hungry, tired, scared and alone, but still, I had triumphed. While I hiked out, I was able to think about where my mind had been for the last four days. I realized that all my time was spent reflecting on the past and about the future. What would come next? How well will I handle it? Have I done a good job? What should I have done differently? This is what I thought about the majority of the time, when I wasn’t preoccupied with the urgent stuff such as food, water, and shelter. But that only occupied about ten percent of my time there.
So, for me, the most significant experience was being able to walk out with my head held high and a sense of self confidence. It is the one thing that stays with me, even now, and though it was hard, I’m glad I did it.
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