Throughout the year, writing about morning chores, I have come to understand the critical nature of each task. However, through my careful observations and compilation of scientific data, I have reached the inevitable conclusion, first hypothesized and then successfully tested, that it is I, Ralph Russ, who, regardless of placement on morning work crews, has significantly increased productivity as well as averting any possible outbreaks of disease or death on the FMA campus.

This cause and effect evidence has bestowed upon me a sense of responsibility and an awareness of my role in creating a better world. It is a sign of my affection for my classmates that I not only keep them safe but also seek to influence them to attempt to achieve the almost supernatural relationship I have with my work.

Although I do not choose to be superior in morning chores, it is a position I am willing to accept as I have achieved it through hard work and dedication. This is, in no way, intended to denigrate my fellow classmates who have helped make my success possible by assuring my motivation. In fact, our working relationship can best be summed up by the maxim of a wise man who once said, “Without darkness there can be no light.”

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